…but there are two things in particular I worry about and want to express to you.
First, you have a problem with a self-defeating kind of resistance. You stay so guarded that people don’t realize they’ve worked their way in and they leave feeling defeated and rejected. Only then do you try to make it clear what they mean to you, but it is invariably too late.
Second, in spite of the fact that you are so fiercely independent in your private pursuits (or perhaps because of it), you have a tendency to become dangerously dependent on the people that you become close to. It is very hard for you to let go, perhaps because it is so hard for you to open up in the first place. You’ll get better at this over time, but only after some very harsh lessons. In the meantime, try not to clutch so tightly to those you know well or resist so strongly those you aren’t yet close to.Scott Garner’s “Letters to Myself” hits so close to home it physically hurts. (via heart-onfire)