Sharp as Teeth and Stars

I decided to be creepily enthusiastic for the rest of the day a few hours ago after some really stupid news.  My favorite thing is that my new attitude is totally creeping people out who usually work with me.  People on the phone think I’m awesome.

“Wow, that’s a GREAT idea.  We should implement that right away!  Don’t you just LOVE Fridays.  HAVE A FANTASTIC WEEKEND.”

This is thoroughly amusing.

“On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot. It’s a silly place.”

I feel this way about where I work today.  If only I knew beforehand what a silly place it was.

axelrod:

Payday AND Tax Refund Day. WHO WANTS TO GO TO NORTHWEST INDIANA!?!?!?!?!?!?!

 Fuck yea, me too.  I just checked my refund status, and it’s being deposited today.  I feel like I have money!  Let’s blow it all buying an abandoned factory!

I was just reading, and a swell of emotions came over me completely unrelated to anything going on at that moment.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had that happen, and it’s rarely a good sign.

Lately I’ve been suppressing a lot of negative emotions, just gritting my teeth and pushing through the day to day ennui surrounding these little islands of pain and brief moments of total emptiness so I can function normally.  The last few months I think I’ve been keeping completely to myself in a way I haven’t since high school.  I probably haven’t internalized and bottled up so much since I came out.  Old habits die hard, and one of my oldest is internalizing my emotions.

I thought I was doing so well.

This will pass.