There is perhaps no phenomenon which contains so much destructive feeling as ‘moral indignation,’ which permits envy or hate to be acted out under the guise of virtue.
Erich Fromm, Man for Himself: An Inquiry into the Psychology of Ethics, 1947
This is the most impressive man made environment in which I’ve been able to meditate. It was wonderfully distracting actually.
Yes, I spent an hour meditating on a Friday night rather than being social. I fear I’m experiencing my first sustained wave of depressive thought and pining loneliness. I of course go somewhere quiet to be alone with my thoughts to counter-intuitively battle my loneliness, but at least I’m not holed up in my apartment having a pity party as is my historical tendency. Going places full of happy, drunken, dancing people would have just depressed me further in this mood.
I need more regular friends here, not just people I see once every other week to once a month. I anticipated this kind of loneliness would strike me much sooner, so I’ve been fortunate I’m only now feeling the dull wash surround me. I’m so slow to trust and make friends that these periods of pining seem nearly inevitable when I thrust myself into new and unfamiliar contexts for extended periods of time. I’ve been keeping active and busy, but most of the time I’m going places alone. The only company I typically keep is my subjective monologue and the imagined thought of people from home and on the internet seeing the pictures of my adventures.